Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize