it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
