i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
