seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
