PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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