he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
