Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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