Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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