I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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