So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
