So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
