I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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