It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize