Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
