VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Buhtt sex?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
