That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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