You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
