i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
