Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize