So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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