I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize