i just made my gag reflex go away.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
