Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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