dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
