my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
