So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
