I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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