bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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