Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
