idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
