Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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