'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
