so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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