do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
