great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
