Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
