she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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