3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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