@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Alive.
So much puke
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Enjoy the penises
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
