We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
