The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize