The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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