I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
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I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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