and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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