Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
