I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
