I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize