Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ugly people sure do ruin things
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
