I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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