we have officially lost it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
