rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
