they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
