Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
