just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize