do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
