i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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