it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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