Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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