All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
