and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
