READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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