When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
