I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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