it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
