So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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