once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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