she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
