Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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