Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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