Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize