Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize