i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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