I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
