just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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