I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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