did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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