I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is