actually, I'm a sock model
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's shark week go big or go home
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices