I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
